My Pregnancy Journey

Dear Mother – A Love Letter from Me to You

July 10, 2015
Dear Mother - a love letter about your journey

Dear Mother - a love letter about your journey

I’m currently sitting in bed, on day 4 of a hideous virus that has totally knocked me for six and left me unable to do much more than lay still and think. And think I have…

You see, any time I get so sick that the only thing I can do is lay in bed and wait it out, I am reminded of the torturous days of my pregnancy, when Hyperemesis ruled my life. Any HG survivor will attest to how the smallest sniff of nausea can bring on a memory of those days, but when you find yourself so completely wiped out that you can barely move, and your brain is so confused you cannot focus on anything, those memories can be huge.

For me, there is this added feeling of guilt and grief that comes with it. As much as I am terrified of ever having another pregnancy (enough so that we are not having any more children) there is always that feeling of sadness that actually, I wish we were expecting again, I wish I could have been stronger last time, I wish I could face it all again. And that makes me feel like I failed, all over again.

These past 4 days, I have gone through a lot of emotions. And the one thing that has cropped up time and time again is that I haven’t allowed myself to grieve properly for what was lost. I’ve been too focused on “seeing the positives” and “moving on”. But equally, I haven’t allowed myself to really see how my journey towards motherhood was just as valid and beautiful as anyone else’s, even if it didn’t look like the natural, glowing, mother-earth type pregnancy we’re shown in the media.

So I did what I always do when I need to work through emotions as big as these. I began to write. First I wrote page after page of how I truly felt about it all, no holds barred, no worries about what people will think. And then the next day I wrote a love letter to myself.

The shift in how I felt made me realise that I needed to hear this. And maybe you do too. Whatever your journey, whatever hurdles you’ve faced, whatever heartbreak has hit you, please know that this is written in love for each and every one of you, just as it was written in love for me.

Dear Mother - a Love Letter from Me to You

I’ve created a Printable Version of this love letter that you can print out if you feel like it. And please, do share this far and wide with as many mothers as you feel need to hear this.

I love you all.

This post has been added to the #MaternityMatters linky hosted by Ghostwriter Mummy.

Maternity Matters~ Ghostwritermummy

  • Reply
    Laura Wood
    July 11, 2015 at 10:16 pm

    I am so sorry, truly. How wonderful that you should work through your sadness by writing something so beautiful which will help so many women. I may rewrite it a little and use it for myself.

    From #MaternityMatters

    • Reply
      July 12, 2015 at 10:24 am

      Hi Laura,

      Thanks for popping over, and I’m glad you could relate to it enough to want to rewrite it for yourself – that sounds like a great idea!!

  • Reply
    July 18, 2015 at 7:57 am

    Beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing. I totally get you too, by the way. Had Elsie not intentionally been the last baby, after her HG pregnancy I know we would not have any more. You are brave, you are strong and you are amazing. Thank you x xx

    • Reply
      July 18, 2015 at 8:09 am

      Thanks for your comment – it’s so nice to know other people “get it” xx

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