Phew! I’m finally in what feels like the final countdown now we have reached 30 weeks. I don’t know why, but reaching the 30s just seems so much more in terms of “getting there” than hitting the third trimester did. I guess some of it is because I didn’t know exactly when the third trimester began and being able to say I only have 10 weeks left until my due date feels so good!
We have a sneaky feeling that this little one is going to come a bit early, in fact several people have mentioned such. To be honest I wouldn’t mind him arriving a little bit early, seeing as how incredibly difficult this pregnancy has been on my physically, but I’d like him to stay in long enough to be born well enough to go straight home. So hang on in there a little longer, little one.
Of course, getting this close to the birth is making me realise just how much still needs to be done and how very unprepared I still am for his arrival. Emotionally I’m ready, but in terms of being physically prepared there is still a bit to be done. Like I have to think about packing a hospital bag, washing all his clothes, putting the cot up, buying the mattress, getting the bedding sorted… just a few essentials like that.
I’m also starting to think more and more about the birth as it no longer feels miles off. I’m worried about the logistics of when to head to the hospital. We have a 45 minute drive (depending on traffic) between where we live and the hospital I am booked at to deliver. I’m lucky in that my parents live just around the corner from said hospital, so we plan on driving over before the labour progresses too far and hanging out there until it is time to actually go to the hospital itself. But I could be in labour for hours and I don’t want to head over too early either. So this is something we have to sit down and properly discuss.
Then, of course, there is the concern about the labour itself. Personally I’m not overly worried too much about the pain, the physical exams, the whole being exposed to who knows how many medical professionals that often bother first-time mums. I just feel that having dealt with Endometriosis for so many years, I have a good idea of what my pain threshold is and how to deal with the lower levels of pain and at what point I need help. I’ve also had my fair share of internal examinations and having to rely on medical staff to help me get out of bed to go for my first pee after surgery etc. So although labour is a new experience, a lot of the details are things I can try and mentally prepare myself for prior to the event.
What does bother me, however, is the fact that I might get sick. A combination of Emetophobia (fear of vomiting) and having spent the majority of this pregnancy incredibly sick has made this a real issue for me. I know it is pretty common for women to throw up during labour and I am dreading it. I just don’t like the thought of having to face that while dealing with contractions as feeling and/or being sick stresses me at the best of times (remember, this is a phobia, not just a dislike of being sick!) I’m hoping I might get lucky and not be ill, or be so focussed on dealing with the contractions and pushing the baby out that it won’t be as big a deal for me as I imagine it could be. But it still bothers me when I think ahead to the birth. It is the one thing that truly terrifies me about labour.
Still, I guess that as a first time mum I could be struggling more if I were fearful of the contractions and other aspects of labour and delivery that are a certainty rather than a possibility. And, as I keep trying to remind myself, even if I do throw up during labour, it will be the last time (or times) I will do so thanks to pregnancy and the end will be in sight rather than the horror I faced with the hyperemesis when I was sick all day, every day for months.